Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Return of the Jedi, with commentary by a three-year-old

This is a few years old, but I didn’t have a blog at the time, so it ended up as a very elaborate status update on Facebook. (Which I don’t use much anymore, owing to privacy concerns.)
Watching Return of the Jedi with my son Milo, who was then three, I decided to write down what he said about the movie:

Daddy, what the gold guy name?
Dere Dark Vader!
Me like Dark Vader.
Maybe the gold guy name is Han Sulu.
Dere R2D2!
What dat furry guy name again?
Why Han Sulu no can see anything?
Dere Dark Vader!
Oh. Dat Louik Skywalker.

Is Groda going to sleep?
Is him dead now?
Is him dead NOW?
OHH. Him not dead yet because him still talking.
Daddy, when him dying?
Now him dead.

Dere Han Sulu!
Dem is Han Sulu's guys.
Han Sulu is in charge of his guys.
[when Admiral Ackbar first appears]: Him is FUNNY LOOKING!
Dere Louik Skywalker!

[as Han Solo pilots the shuttle to Endor]: Daddy, can Han Sulu see now?

What dat furry ting?
Daddy, is the Earwok nice or mean?

Dat Louik Skywalker's new lightsaber.
Why Dark Vader have Louik Skywalker's new lightsaber?
Daddy, me have to tell you something WHY DARK VADER HAVE LOUIK SKYWALKER'S NEW LIGHTSABER?

[as I try to walk to the bathroom with Milo hanging on my shoulders]: Me pretending you a walker!

Dat not a good idea. [What's not a good idea? I ask.] Throwing your lightsaber at somebody is not a good idea.

Is Dark Vader dead?
Then why him LOOK like him dead?

Ha! That ship landed in the WINDOW!

Me still like Dark Vader 'cause him really IS nice.

Them kissing. Yuck. Is the movie over now?

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